Gardening and Gochujang

Seasoned readers will recall my frustrations as I tried to grow eggplants on my fire escape in Chicago last year. The project was so unsuccessful that it was virtually unbloggable; it was salvaged by making a huge deal of transporting two lame eggplants on an airplane and then frying them to find they tasted awful. All other attempts at growing failed and the terra cotta graveyard was quickly forgotten under a layer of ice.

Admire the above photograph. This is what patio eggplants look like in a climate that never drops below 70°. Fertilized by eggshells, plant food, and rainbows.

The view from my living room this morning.

The variety I'm growing is called "patio baby" and it sprouts dozens upon dozens of eggs. They are supposed to be harvested at only 2-3 inches long, perhaps even earlier, as they begin to grow bitter once their skins lose shine. They're tiny and bite-sized and adorbs.

The first harvest, picked slightly too late (with less gloss to their skins), plus a long green sweet pepper that I grew.

Picked these fellas this morning. Only slightly awkward.

With my first harvest I decided to make

Gochujang-glazed eggplants with tempeh

which can be eaten over rice or salad, takes only a few minutes, and tastes delicious. That's because gochujang—a Korean condiment made from spicy peppers and fermented soybeans—has such depth and umami. Speaking of mami, my mother sent me a jar of the best dang gochujang I've ever had. It looks bourgey, it comes from Brooklyn, and it may or may not be manufactured by a Korean mother-in-law, but I just don't care. The stuff tastes fresher and more vibrant than any of the tubs I bought at the Korean grocery.

Two different approaches to gochujang: this expensive stuff from Brooklyn that reminds me how white I am vs. the cheap stuff from the Korean grocery (below) that has a duller flavor. There may be a good one at some Korean groceries too but this one didn't have much selection.

Without further ado:

Gochujang-glazed baby eggplants and tempeh

Ingredients
As many baby eggplants as you've grown, halved
Gochujang of choice
Tempeh, sliced
Dash of soy sauce
Sesame oil
Olive oil
1 garlic clove, minced
Optional: chopped scallion, sesame seeds for the top

Method
Fry baby eggplants in a mixture of sesame oil and olive oil (or just sesame if you like a strong flavor).

Add tempeh strips and fry with lid on for a few minutes. Turn the items over when they're brown and add a dash of soy sauce; cover with a lid to steam the things. Add more oil if the tempeh has soaked it up, and add the garlic. Then mix some water into the gochujang, shake it up, and pour over the top, returning the lid to steam for a minute or two.

Optional: at this stage add a dash of barbecue sauce just for extra deliciousness. Cook down for a few minutes until the sauce becomes bubbly and sticky, turning over the pieces as necessary.

Still simmering down.

A minute later: sticky-glazed.

Serve on top of rice, salad greens, or slaw. Top with green onions and sesame seeds. Continue growing baby eggplants 4ever.

As for how the home-grown eggplants tasted: they're a tiny bit bitter, since I picked them after they lost their gloss (at the massive size of 3 inches), but they're mostly sweet with a strong plant-y flavor, like chlorophyll, that I like. If you pick them when they're really tiny, I can imagine roasting them whole with interesting spices rubbed onto their skins, or breading and frying like tempura. Might try that next, stay tuned.

Lunch lurks.

A bounty!

UPDATE
11/23, Thanksgiving Day
I am thankful for the bounty of eggplants... but unfortunately they are mostly dead now after having been eaten by spider mites. There are a lot of bugs here. RIP, eggplants, it's been real.